Blogging Through the Tears

I've had a little trouble blogging this past week. I wanted to put something into words but had no idea how to write about information that I have found impossible to wrap my mind around. I shall try.

I was driving toward the gym one week ago today, Friday, when I heard a news report on the car radio. I was in shock. I was nauseous. I cried and was unable to continue driving. I heard a name that was far too familiar. I had to have proof and I had to have time to absorb what I had just heard. So I went home and flicked on the computer to find the police website and dispell my fears.

Each day of our lives, terrible news surfaces. We see and hear radio, tv and internet items which are incomprehensible and horrendous. Since we aren't connected to the suspects or the victims involved, it becomes just another piece of information, bad news someplace in the world or perhaps even closer, but nonetheless, just news.

After confirming last week's report and trying to figure out how all parts of it must be totally inaccurate, I also remembered "innocent until proven guilty." I decided that news reports are always exaggerated. News reports are over dramatized. News reports often contain way too much incorrect info. News reports can ruin peoples' reputations and lives. There had to be an explanation.

Then, I read the police report and continued to wonder how these facts could possibly be true. I know that police often charge people with many more things than they think will "stick".  I sadly realized that there must be some speck of evidence to proceed with their allegations and charges.

As a mother, I feel unsettled, frightened and appalled. As a close friend of the mother, I feel sadness, disbelief, and confusion. When you have known and worked alongside a family for a very long time, when you remember the pride, the accomplishments, the creative minds and the stellar reputations, it is difficult to accept that something like this is even possible. 

We are friends. We are moms. We have worked together, laughed together, and we have celebrated together. Now, we are crying together.