What If?

I know I haven't posted for a long time. Things have happened...deaths, broken computer, cancelled vacation. More on all that another time.

Today, is Mother's Day. I am now officially an orphan since my second mom, my stepmom, passed away this week. She went on her own terms, was organized, and was ready.

Being enveloped in final plans and thoughts of death, got me thinking. I wondered, "What if"?  I tried to come up with some "what ifs" that could be associated with final days before I realized, I was focusing on the negative. Let me elaborate.

Here are some thoughts I had...

     What if the last book I ever read was the a bad one?
     What if the last words I ever said, were harsh or angry words?
     What if the last thoughts I had, were mean or hurtful thoughts?
     What if the last song I heard was one I didn't like?
     What if the last trip I took was to a place I didn't necessarily want to go?
     What if the last thing I saw was something frightening or ugly?
     What if the last smell I smelled was noxious?
     What if the last face I saw, was the face of an enemy?
     What if the last dance I danced, was my last dance?

Of course, the list could go on and on. It's really unfortunate that as we age, we begin to have more frequent negative thoughts. I was imagining how I could have the same ideas, but put them into a happier, more positive light.

Here are my revised thoughts...same what ifs, but stated somewhat differently.

      What if the last book I ever read was the current one?
      What if the last words I ever said were kind and loving?
      What if the last thoughts I had were considerate and caring thoughts?
      What if the last song I heard was one of the many wonderful pieces of music out there?
      What if I made the most of the last trip I ever took, whether I wanted to go there or not?
      What if the last thing I saw was nature, flowers, birds, streams and butterflies?
      What if the last thing I smelled was the ocean, flowers, or black currant vanilla bubble bath?
      What if the last face I saw, was a friendly face?
      What if the last dance I danced was my last dance?

How would you like to leave this world? Would you go with "what if" negativity or would you want to leave joyous and happy having established for yourself a list of "what if" positive possibilities?