Monday, February 29, 2016

Hivey Hilde After Hours

It's happened to me before. Some of my friends say they have this  problem all the time. For varying reasons, aches, pains, worries, people are awake at odd hours. I have not often been cursed with this afflicton. In fact, just the opposite. I can usually fall asleep almost anywhere, anytime. Not so for the last several weeks.

I'm told this causes problems with growth hormones. That would partly explain the ever shrinking senior frame. Mental capacity declines with lack of sleep. Again, explains a lot.

Perhaps it was the excitement of what was surely our first snow and being able, even at this age, to create as snow person with my daughter last week. Perhaps it's the latest drug that's been added to my arsenal. Or maybe, it's the mysterious spots which have been annoyingly itchy on my body. Who knows? For whatever reason, I'm awake. I tossed and turned for an hour before admitting defeat.

Screens aren't supposed to help with insomnia, I disagree. There's something soothing about being able to sit here and spew the weird and crazy thoughts that go through my head at three a.m. I suppose there are other options...warm milk, sleepy time tea, Tylenol PM (wait...already took two), reading the latest night stand novel. But I opt for this...a blog after midnight.

Thus far, the months of January and February 2016 have been interesting if nothing else. On the second day of the year, I developed an unusual and horrifying affliction which looked something akin to the Otrivin cartoon eye ad.

For no reason of which I was aware, my eyes swelled beyond anything imaginable. Lids and bottoms were red, purple, puffy, itchy, wrinkly and just plain scary. I've searched on the internet but have as yet to find a photo of anyone's eyes as hideous as mine were.

They got uglier and itchier with each day until I was ready to rip them out of my head. I thought this was the worst of it until I developed spots on my arms...hives no less. Then I got spots on my legs, my torso and probably on my scalp.Very uncomfortable. No amount of allergy medicine or eye drops seemed to diminish the problem. I couldn't go out, but when I had to, makeup almost made the look more frightening.

As always, when something happens to us at this age, we wonder whether this is it. Will this be the thing that eventually kills me? I hadn't thought that way about these hives, not until a couple of nights ago. My first waking was accompanied by moaning and groaning (mine), sore joints that felt as though someone was dousing them in acid, ankles that could only have been garotted, a stiff jaw (teeth clenching), and shaking, even shivering. I drifted off briefly only to wake up again with a stomach pain that said, "You haven't eaten in a week." Only problem was that I had.

Tonight, my entire body was covered in hives. I could barely walk and lying down to sleep was unimaginable. I can only deduce that trying to recline in a nest of fire ants might produce a similar effect. In order to avoid having my bed combust, I got up and am here.

Now as I sit, I'm wondering how much I'm shrinking from lack of sleep. Wondering how much my mental capacity will decline from the same problem. Wondering whether this is it, or whether there's a simple explanation for two months of hives. Hopefully, I'll find out soon.

On the bright side, being housebound is helping me organize things...a start. It also is helping me realize that I can't die yet. This is all too much of a nightmare to foist upon unsuspecting relatives. I hope at least that some of my silliness gives them a laugh or two as they deal with all my junk.


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