Friday, February 8, 2013

Car, Truck, Vroom, Vroom....

Through extensive research and observation of male pattern behaviour I have concluded that most men are born with some kind of a noise chromosome. I recall fondly that my son's first, very loud words were "car, truck, vroom, vroom". I also have memories of an empty kitchen cupboard, little hands and clanging pots and pans. The lids were especially appealing.

"Now I know why they have those little child proof cabinet clips!"  I often yelled, as the clanging reverberated and "the boy" worked on his burgeoning career as a percussionist.

I frequently observed little girls as they amused themselves quietly with lego, books, puzzles and crayons, while boys' activities, even with their pretend toys, needed to be accompanied by bang bangs, whirring or shrill siren sounds.

For some reason, I had the mistaken impression that noises were limited to boys and youngish men who drive monster trucks with massive tail pipes. I have learned differently. One of my friends used to yell at her adult brother when he didn't provide adequate warning prior to a window shattering sneeze. My dad, who often complained about other peoples' moderate sounds had some loud habits of his own.

Our current house is a small one. The bed's headboard is on the opposite wall of the kitchen. Hubby is usually awakened early by the demanding dachshund damsel. He takes her for a walk and returns to the kitchen. By this time, it's around 6-6:30 a.m. Any attempts by me to sleep much later are thwarted by a wall which I am convinced is made of paper.

I have mentioned the problem and hubby tries his best to be considerate. I appreciate the effort. However, he's a man and therefore has the aforementioned "chromosome". I have tried help. I thought I was clever when I came up with one sound reducing solution...some improvement.
I have even tried putting a pillow over my head but have been thus far unsuccessful in doing anything more than suffocating myself.

I've probably mentioned this before. My hubby is very smart. He really is super clever. As a result of my issues he has unravelled yet another one of life's many mysteries. I had never thought of this.

I have often wondered why McDonald's, Tim Horton's and similar establishments are always bulging with men, especially elderly men and usually in the mornings. They sit, they linger, they read the paper and don't appear to have a care in the world. They certainly are in no hurry to go anyplace. So why is my hubby such a genius?

Today, he said "Now I know why old men hang around coffee shops in the morning. It's to stay out of the house so their wives can sleep."

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