Thursday, April 1, 2010

Yes We Have No Bananas....

Last night I went to get some essential groceries to survive the Good Friday shopping drought. I picked up some salad, a tub of non hydrogenated margarine, cottage cheese and English muffins. Yes, I know, I'm starting to eat like a senior. I also wanted some bananas. Bananas! Those thick skinned yellow crescents that are piled in at least three different locations in the store. Bananas! Usually found in the organic section, the regular produce green but will ripen some day section and the store packaged slightly darkened discount banana area. Bananas! The things I like to slice up on my 130 calorie Special K breakfast.

I searched in all the usual places. No bananas. My brilliant observational skills allowed me to locate stacks and stacks of banana crates with the words "Imported" and "Chiquita" emblazened on top. Ah yes, my brain started singing, "I'm Chiquita banana and I'm here to say, bananas have to ripen in a bowl of Special K". Remember that or at least some unadulterated, unHilde-esque version of the jingle? I determined that there was no way I could leave the store without satisfying my now desperate need for bananas. Finally, as a last resort, I asked.

"We're sold out," the clerk responded.

After I picked my jaw up off the floor, I shook my head in disbelief. Sold out? Sold out! What store is ever, ever sold out of bananas? I went to two other grocers with the same strange result.
I shared this story with a friend who responded with "Yep, it's that pre-Easter shopping."

Pre-Easter shopping? Ah yes, of course I forgot that bananas are traditional Easter fare. Oh no! Whatever will I do? No bananas. Now what can I possibly dye for my annual Easter banana hunt? Oh dear, no banana stuffing for the turkey and and I can't believe there won't be any mashed bananas and gravy.

Could it be that there might be an impending world wide banana shortage? Bananas...the most popular and most consumed fruit in the world becoming extinct? Should this happen, the cost of this delicacy could rival the price of say...gas in the upcoming months. Some country might have to wage war to gain control over banana crops. But alas, let's not go there.


  1. "...pre-Easter shopping."?

    Desperate times call for desperate measures. Maybe you should lay in an emergency ration of degydrated bananas for those late night banana, mayonaise, and peanut better sandwich snacks.

  2. Madame, you have a gift for seeing humour in the mundane. Please keep it up.

  3. No, Sir Michael...I am seeing humour in the plantain.