My Cataract Adventures - Part 3

I'm tired. I'm frustrated. I'm headachy and I'm dysfunctional. I feel very, very old. It takes me two to three times as long to do anything than in the past. I cannot distinguish some colours. I wear my clothes inside out because I can't tell the difference.My closet is a black hole. Although I still try not to stink, I don't care if my hair is combed or if I have makeup on. I can't see it anyhow. The computer screen is too bright for me to look at most of the time. I have to write with one eye shut during those moments when I can actually see the contrast. When they're standing near a window,  peoples' faces are silhouettes, like negatives from the old style of camera film. This morning, I was wrapping Christmas presents because I don't know if I'll be able to perform this task at a later date. Yes, I'm feeling sorry for myself. On the other hand, I've developed even more empathy and much admiration for anyone with any sort of handicap.

I have to wonder, because nobody's ever told me details, whether everyone gets this bad prior to cataract surgery. I get annoyed when I think about my cancelled appointment back in September. Perhaps it would have gotten me in for surgery sooner. Right now, it can't come quickly enough. My desperation is superceding my fear.

A huge part of my problem is that I've always been a visual kinesthetic type of person. Seeing and doing are my strengths. When I can't see, it's hard to do. I am currently unable to multitask. If someone tells me something while I'm performing another chore  I don't hear it. If the radio or tv is on and someone speaks to me, I don't hear it. Thankfully, there's nothing wrong with my hearing. It's just never been a strength for me to listen and comprehend everything. My concentration level on singular tasks has escalated beyond the norm. The headaches and fatigue are caused by eye strain. I'd just as soon close them than try to use them.

I don't proofread my blogs so they are what they are. It's just too challenging.

That's my current situation. I have just called the eye doctor's office because I have not yet been given a surgery date. It was promised for January.

What comes to mind frequently these days is a Confucius saying which is a favourite of educators.

                   I hear. I forget. I see. I remember. I do. I understand.

I'll be overjoyed when I can see and remember, do and understand once again.  

Fatigue, Flab, Farha and Fun

The problem with being old and bloggng is that it's hard to remember what you've written in previous years, months and sometimes even what you've written in previous days. I've probably mentioned one of my favourite Dr. Seuss quotes before.

                         “When you're in a slump,you're not in for much fun.
                                    Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.”

Every once in awhile I am guilty of a "playing the world's smallest violin" moment. Sometimes, it lasts longer than a moment, more like a week or two. It's usually when something doesn't go quite as I had imagined, when I'm extra tired, when I worry about my children or someone's health, when I don't hear from friends, when the weather is particularly depressing, when the weigh scales are being unfair OR when I have to clean toilets. 

Lately, I had been obsessing over several of the above things, and I had been feeling particularly fatigued. I was in a slump and had difficulty pulling myself out.

For example, despite going to a gym for a month and walking daily, I gained seven pounds (insert violin playing here). Oh yes, I've heard the ridiculous, "muscle weighs more than fat" argument. The truth is, muscle is more compact than fat. Muscle burns more calories. But whether it's a pound of fat, a pound of muscle, a pound of feathers or a pound of kumquats, it's still a pound.

Then, at the exact same gym, I learned about a dynamic woman that would be coming to talk on the eve of October 30th. She was Wendy Farha, a singer, comedienne, motivational speaker, cancer survivor, who suffers from depression. Wow! And I thought I had problems. I purchased a ticket. It was the final week of breast cancer awareness month. Proceeds for this event were being donated to the local hospital. Perfect!

Wendy arrived, began to speak and we all started laughing. Her antics, songs, stories and jokes were so much fun that everyone had a wonderful time. Not only did she give us a lot to think about, she made us all feel thankful for what we have. She was truly inspirational.

When I took this photo, Wendy said, "Wait, you didn't get my best side". She was right. The photo doesn't begin to do her justice. She is truly a remarkable person.

I feel better now. Things are looking up. I have caught up on rest. My kids are fine. I have visited with some friends. I have lost some weight. Everyone is currently healthy. The weather isn't bad. So, can toilet cleaning be far behind?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmVouyb-I38