That's What A Friend Is - Part 2

I have one really good friend who fits almost all the "....Friend - Part 1" criteria. We have known each other for many years. We've worked together. We've studied together. We've attended conferences and we've partied together. We've gone to galleries, taken courses and seen live performances together. We've baked, picked, pickled and cooked together. We've shared our child rearing successes and frustrations. We've discussed our philosophies, enjoyed experiences and talked about regrets. Sometimes, we just "hang out". Often we simply sip some wine and laugh.

This  week, we had one of those times. After chatting on the phone about many things, I happened to mention that I wanted to go to Honest Ed's. I lived near that store as a child and just felt like going back and visiting the area.

"I want to go too," my friend said excitedly. "Let's go during March Break."

Realizing that this was likely a place where we could go during the break that wouldn't be filled with children, we made a date. As soon as we arrived, it began. There was a funhouse mirror at the entrance. We laughed as we attempted to pose for photos.


   


 















We didn't understand the enormity of the store. There were stairs going up and down and and connecting walkways. Everywhere we looked there were decorations, antiques and treasures.

All items were unique, disturbing or just weird.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said in one of his quotes."It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them."  We were, and it was a blast.






















We spent a total of four hours and realized well into the afternoon that we needed to go and have some lunch. When we saw this clipping about Ed's annual turkey giveaway, I mentioned that I always wanted to line up for this. (blog "Turkey Time", Nov. 29, 2012) It's still on my bucket list. My friend immediately announced that she'd go and line up with me. In fact, we decided that I'd go into the city the night before and we'd head out early. Hurrayyyyyyy...Christmas 2013 it is!

And as the story by P.K. Hallinan says.....

    "You can laugh. You can cry. You can watch cars go by. You can have a great time and not even try! A friend is a person who likes to be there... 'cause you two make a wonderful pair! And when all's said and done, the natural end is...a friend is a friend...That's what a friend is!"

                                                                                                  

That's What A Friend Is...Part 1

I looked up the word "friend" on www.dictionary.com and came up with these top 3 definitions.

 1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.

 

2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter: friends of the Boston Symphony.

  

3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile: Who goes there? Friend or foe?

 

Interesting isn't it? I would never, ever have offered any of those choices of words to describe my friends. They seem inadequate at best. To me, a friend is so much more.

 

I think it may even possible to have friends who serve different functions in our lives. There are those we can rely on in times of crisis, who put our perceived catastrophes into perspective;  those whose experiences, philosophies and tastes we can discuss, share or disagree about;  those who are honest with us no matter what and "lay the cards on the table" as the saying goes;  those who forgive our mistakes and stand by us; those we trust - the confidantes;  those who empathize, feel our pain;  those who celebrate our accomplishments without envy and without having to "one up" us;  those who remain steadfast throughout some or all of our lives;  those with whom we laugh and those with whom we cry. If we are very fortunate, we have might have a friend who encompasses all those qualities. For many of us, it's our spouse. For some of us, we may be lucky enough to have another friend who's that much of a "good buddy" as it were.

 

There are temporary friends which we outgrow for some reason or another. There are friends who move far away with whom we lose touch. In that case, the friendship was likely not important enough for either party to maintain. Sometimes, friendships are toxic and we move on.

 

I had an instructor once who asked, "Do we really have a lot of close friends, or are they just acquaintances?"

 

That was a thought provoking question. I gave it some consideration and assessed my situation. How many people did I feel were true friends? The list became quite small. Fingers on one hand small....quality won out over quantity.

There's a children's book by P.K. Hallinan which I always enjoyed.

Very simply, it says it all, "A friend, is a friend. That's what a friend is."