There's an old Mennonite expression which I may have used in previous blogs. It seems very fitting for so many situations, but now, I find it especially useful for this "fitting" blog. It goes, as follows...
At some point in my adult life, I had a vision. I saw myself relaxing in my large, well appointed bed, wearing shiny silk pajamas, surrounded by pouffy satin pillows, and lying on a thousand thread count, soft white sheets. Perhaps I've seen too many Hollywood movies.
I got as far as purchasing the white sheets. Two sets were all I needed. Three hundred thread count was all I could afford. Actually, one set was all I really required until I read that it's not good for the sheets to be washed and put directly back on the bed. Google wisdom likened the care and washing of sheets to some kind of pet bath ritual. They need to fluff up, stretch themselves, air out, and be left to breathe prior to any further attention, and of course, keep them off the bed at all costs.
I feel somewhat embarrassed even mentioning the two major sheet problems which have irritated me over the years. Both have to do with (drum roll)...the dreaded fitted bed sheets.
One thing which seems to plague not just me, is the age old problem of how to fold fitted sheets so that they are small enough to go back to the size they were when purchased. It's been suggested that a whole set could be washed and placed inside a pillow case after folding. Great idea. Good luck with that. I have half way managed it. A bonus is that it hides the fact that I can't fold the fitted sheets properly. Youtube videos are wonderful, helpful things aren't they? I must confess, try as I might, I will never measure up to Marie Kondo and I no longer care.
I am happy to announce that in my advanced years, I have finally solved the other issue. I am writing it in this blog because I know that if I excitedly shared the secret to my success on Facebook, someone (and we all know at least one person), would undoubtedly say, "You didn't know that? I learned it when I was eight years old."
So here's my confession. I have always had an issue when putting sheets on the bed. I would pull and stretch and tug ad infinitum and invariably, end up with the fitted sheet on sideways and not fitting at all. Pools of perspiration would form at the nape of my neck. Then I'd remove it, (the sheet and the perspiration), start again, only to have it still...sideways. Oh eventually, I'd get it turned the right way around. Problem was always the same. I could never tell which was the narrower top or bottom at first glance. Someone suggested putting a colourful thread or a button at one end, but really? Is that a thing people do? Besides, since I'm old and forgetful, that would still have me wondering if I had the correct narrow end or did I sew that onto the wider part.
Last year around Christmas, I decided I'd had enough of boring white sheets so I made a decision to opt for something a little more fun, child-like, and possibly seasonal. Besides that, I wanted a warmer flannel option for the winter months. It was then that I made a most remarkable discovery. If you get sheets with a pattern that can only go one way, you will always know which end of the sheet goes up. Clearly, little trucks and tiny gnomes (and now penguins that match my pajamas) can only go in one direction. This to me was a major light bulb moment and resolved an issue even greater than the fitted folding sheet dilemma.
I realize that little trucks and tiny gnomes aren't everyone's taste. However, this ingenious discovery can surely translate to
On a final note, an irrelevant statistic I found in a computer article is that people don't wash their sheets nearly often enough (at least once a week). I can certainly sympathize with sheet changing procrastinators if they have to go through calorie burning calisthenics just to get their beds made, and their clean sheets refolded.
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***Note - Just found this on facebook for those who continue to struggle. Seems easy enough...not.
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