Weather or Not?

For the past two days we have been hearing warnings and forecasts of today's weather nightmare. After an extremely mild winter, it was predicted that we would receive an entire season's accumulation of snow, all today. Meteorologists threatened up to 20 cm. Fear loomed. Town maintenance workers cropped dangerous dangling tree branches. School buses were cancelled. Those in a position to do so, took the day off work. Ready or not, it would begin at midnight.

I planned ahead...something which is not in my nature to do. In case I was to be snowbound for any length of time, I would be prepared. I didn't want my coupons to expire before I could use them, so I grabbed the dog and all my February grocery vouchers. Off we went to Walmart. After picking up most items on my list, I checked out. This is most of what $17.53 got me with a savings of over $20.

Tassimo worth $9.99 was free and I made a profit with my coupon on the Finish dish detergent. I had big value coupons for all the rest of the items except for carrots and lettuce which only cost a total of $2.


My next step was to move the car into the garage and grab a large snow shovel and broom. I took out the trash and gathered up the accumulated dog deposits from the lawn. Then I dug out my hat, mittens, boots, winter coat and scarf, stowing them all in our foyer. Was I ready or what?

This morning, we woke up at the usual time, 6 a.m. It was soooooooo dark. Was the snow covering the windows? Had it piled up so high that we were buried, trapped? With trepidation, I edged toward our large living room window. It was worse than I had feared.

Alas, our 18 foot tall pine tree was barely visible above the mountains of precipitation. What to do now? Did I dare go outside? After mustering up all my courage, I ventured through the door. I trudged. I plodded. It was a challenge to lift my legs out of the huge drifts on the driveway.

I knew that sooner or later I would have to begin shovelling. I looked down the street. No neighbours were visible. I smuggly walked back into the house realizing that they must all be too frightened to do what I just did. Perhaps they weren't ready for this. Don't they watch the Weather Network? Didn't they listen to Frankie's warnings on Breakfast TV?

Alas, as I write this, my footprints are disappearing under the mounds of precipitation. The last remaining tip of our massive tree has almost disappeared. It's time to brave the elements and begin the hours of shovelling.

Lest there be any doubt, this entire blog was written facetiously. I used to check the weather by looking outside in the morning or by bravely sticking my head through the doorway to guess the temperature. I believe my accuracy rate, using no more equipment than my eyes, skin and sinuses was more accurate. What do you think?

All That Canada Needs, Now !

I love this country as much as the next person. After all, what's not to love? We have freedom, we have opportunity, we have multiculturalism, we have health care, we have gorgeous and diverse scenery, we have hockey, we have the C.B.C., we have a warship, we have a Queen who provides us with endless entertainment and fashion tips and as if that isn't enough, we have the option of visiting Cuba and smoking their cigars should we wish to do so.

We also have seasons. The spring with its blooms and buds stirs in us the excitement of the coming season of heat and road repairs. Then comes summer, sometimes short and often so brutally hot and humid that it makes Arizona look like a desirable place to cool off. Hard to believe that we need air conditioned homes, cars, offices, stores and malls. Fall is nice if you like cold rain, raking leaves and the anticipation of the next season. Oh yes, then there's the winter.

It's the winter which makes it not only expensive to live in Canada, but causes many of us to be less healthy than we could be. We need winter tires, ice scrapers and snow brushes, extra heat and hydro, snow removal machines or at least a shovel, ice melter, plows, sand and salt, heavy clothing including at least one each of coats, hats, mitts, boots, scarves, snowpants, not to mention all the winter sports equipment, clothing and padding. Is it any wonder the ski-doo, the snowblower and hibernation were all invented by Canadians?

So, in the midst of all this, why has it been impossible for the government to see the need for a tropical island? For all the tourist dollars that go south every year, we could probably sustain such a place quite easily. Just think of the revenue, if we make certain that it has a theme park, a golf course and docking facilities. Families could go there instead of heading to Disney. Snowbirds could spend their months in Canada's own warm paradise instead of heading for Florida. Golfers could go there instead of to Myrtle Beach and finally, cruise ships could dock and help provide tourist dollars. Besides that, no high priced passports would be required by citizens.

At one time, there was talk of making the Turks and Caicos, with its temperature range of a low of 21C and a seasonal high of 29C, a part of Canada. After all, it's a British territory and many Canadians already vacation there. First mention of annexation was way back in 1917. The idea resurfaced in the 1980's, then again in the 90's when there was 90% public approval for the idea. So what happened? There were some constitutional issues, which led Nova Scotia to offer to take on Turks and Caicos as a part of their province. Once again, the idea was shelved and the popularity of a move in this direction declined during the most recent decade. All hope has not been lost, however. Rumour has it that in this year, 2011, the positions of Commissioner of Police and Deputy Commissioner of Police will be held by Canadians. This suggests that a good cleanup is needed before we might consider Turks and Caicos as an acceptable addition to Canada. Perhaps then?

Now, here's my best argument for acquiring these islands. The Queen is quite elderly now. From personal experience I have come to realize that the older we get, the more sensitive we are to a cold climate. When she tours her colonies, I'm pretty certain the Queen would be more affable to the idea of visiting a part of Canada if it were located in the Caribbean. I know I would.

Greetings Subjects. It is truly an honour to be in Canada's newest, warmest and southernmost province...Turks and Caicos.