Basement Dwellers and Other Alien Life Forms

Let's face it. Many of us have had them, or are familiar with someone who does. I know at least three people besides myself with this recurring affliction. I'm sensing it as a generational problem.

When I was young, I couldn't wait to leave home. I was seventeen when I selected a university which was far enough away that I wouldn't be tempted to travel back too often. It was lovely to see my parents if they came for a Saturday visit. It was nice to go home for special occasions.  As I recall, I only moved back briefly during the summer after I graduated. I awaited a call for the job I knew I'd get. Then, I was off to another city.

Nowadays, things are different, very different. It was over ten...perhaps even fifteen years ago when I sent my young'uns off to Hamilton. One went to McMaster, the other to some college whose name escapes me because I'm old and it seems like at least a decade ago. Oh wait. It was.

I was all set, looking toward the future, my future. I would be a single, carefree adult at last. My exhausting single mom job was mostly done.

I imagined all sorts of scenarios. They included my eventual retirement, seeing the world, possibly trying a new career or going back to school, and most importantly, quiet times. All I would do was read, write, paint, sing, travel, and perhaps work from time to time. I would live in a small, minimal maintenance loft someplace and wear loose, floor length, floral dresses and whatever other bizarre clothing appealed to me. There would be huge open work areas, wooden floors, tables, easels, and big bright windows spewing lots of much needed light. Music would play softly, as I sang, had uninterrupted bubble baths, or created. It would be my personal Shangri La.

My children would be off on their own, successful, and invite me to their lovely homes for special occasions. In fact, a psychic had even once predicted my ideal scenario, complete with living in another country...a hot one I presume, although he didn't specify. At no time did my vision include limits...day to day drudgery and aggravation, with bodies and pets underfoot. Nor did I anticipate the return of one or both of my now adult offspring which seems to have become a cyclical event.

During this past year, we have helped my son move into his father's house after the homeowner where he lived decided that the profit from the sale of his house far outweighed the rental income. Recently, he has decided to return to school...yet again. For the past two years, my daughter had been a squatter in our basement. It began as only a few months of studies, which then escalated. She recently moved on. After several 5 hour tests, one eight hour marathon exam, a vacation to Mexico, acquisition of assorted documentation, dog vaccinations, insurance, lines of credit, and more, the packing and moving happened. We loaded up two cars, and headed south to Atlanta. ***

As I drove back alone, I savoured the peace, the leisurely pace, the relaxation which eased the tightness in my shoulders, the time to think. I listened to audiobooks as I drank in the scenery and let my mind wander. I visited a few sites which interested me. ***

It's not that we don't love our children, and of course we miss and worry about them, but really? What has caused this "Failure to Launch" generation? Why are some doing in their thirties what we did in our teens and twenties?  Why is it that not every family has this issue? There are multitudinous successful and established young people, athletes, entrepreneurs, professionals, blue collar workers, and so on.  There are also far too many more that haven't managed to reach this stage.

I
Although it's cute, I am not certain I agree with the movie clip. On the contrary. I feel that young people nowadays have much more self esteem than many of us did. Yes, we are having tough economic times and good jobs are difficult to find. This has always been the case in one form or another. I think it's more complex than that. So what is it? I have my theories, although I don't want to expound or generalize at this time.

Having said all that, there are the later years. One of our neighbours just announced that her son is separating, selling his house, and hopefully will not be moving in since her grown daughter is already living in the house with them. A thought that never occurred to me during my earlier status as a single parent was to take my kids and head for mom and dad's. It just was not an option.

So there it is. Hubby and I are yet again, empty nesters.

As for me, although life has steered me in a slightly different direction, I still want to read, write, paint, sing, travel. And now, over a decade later, I'll just add, watch Netflix.

_________________________________________________________________________________

*** More on this later

Easter Fun 2014

I haven't been home much. After a recent trip, I came back for about a week before I began my annual work session. Since I was once again living in a hotel, this time for two weeks, I had to find some way to entertain myself. I no longer felt the need to go into the city or to an event. Old age and exhaustion in the evening seem to have curtailed my gallivanting.

I recently dreamed up the idea to have an Easter egg hunt for my adult children. After all, who doesn't love to relive their childhood with a little fun? While strolling through and enjoying the dollar store, I had an idea. I would spend my Holiday Inn evenings making a papier-mâché  head of each of the "kids".

Styrofoam balls seemed like an easier choice than balloons for the base, although they didn't totally replicate the head shapes of everyone. On the other hand, if you want to make these using balloons, you could use these as Easter baskets and fill the heads with Easter goodies...slightly creepy. I didn't have enough time to put that many layers of papier-mâché on balloons. 

So I sat. Evenings were spent in the hotel room creating heads with papier-mâché while watching baseball. I wondered about the potential reaction of the housekeeping staff upon discovering these in the room, but figured at this point, they'd pretty much seen it all. 

 I inserted doweling in the bottom of each styro ball in order to make it easier to hold while working. I also used sponge and other smaller styrofoam bits and glued them for ears and noses. It was pretty easy. I had brought a flour salt mixture from home and only needed to add water. The hotel supplied a daily newspaper. I covered each ball with one layer of newspaper in very small strips and when dry, one layer of white paper (one sheet, liberated from the hotel printer)

Inserting the doweling into an empty wine bottle was a good way to get the heads dried evenly. It is essential to drink wine prior to, and during this activity in order to have an empty bottles.

For  hair and eyes I relied on my craft bin and costume collections. Most things however, are available from the dollar store including paint. I found the mouths to be challenging. I had no idea how to create these and my heads were mouthless until I was back home.

My son's head was most difficult since he has some unusual piercings and ear holes. An earring through the nose and magnets to represent his ear plugs looked ok. Since I haven't seen him without a cap in eons, I also created a hat for him. His girlfriend had purple and black hair last time I saw her. I was in luck on that one with an old purple wig. (Unfortunately, she sported green hair this weekend...too bad). I decided to print their mouths from a photo and glue them on. It worked.














So those were the finished heads. What did I do with them you ask?  I used them as the beginning of an Easter egg hunt.

At the dinner table, each person had a small treat box. After dessert, they opened the box. There were goodies and a slip of paper saying, "Find the head that represents you and there you'll see your very first clue."

Each subsequent rhyming clue lead them around the house where they located things like candy, eggs, toys and a gift card. In order to avoid disputes, they each had their own clues and colour of baskets with gifts. The last clue asked them to find a golden egg for an additional treat. The whole thing was quite a big hit, although the most fun of all was the laughter when they first laid eyes on the heads.