Today, as I was changing my sheets and re-making my bed, I discovered something. There were two large bumps, one near the pillow area, and one close to the centre of the bed. Mystified, I felt around. Sometimes, things cling to sheets and get stuck in odd places. Usually though, it's a ***sock (a partial explanation as to where the other sock goes after doing laundry).
Clearly, these lumps were impossible. My pajamas were in the wash. My shorts, shirt, and slippers were on my body. I had no missing pets. Hmmm...could I have amassed that many dust mites since my last wash? Gross, NO!
On the other hand, I like to think of myself as somewhat of a ***"Princess and the Pea", and these bulges would clearly explain my sleepless nights of late.
Since I have a zip on mattress cover to protect against any alien type infestations, there was only one thing left to do. I had to locate the end of the fastener, a feat in itself, then open up the mattress cover sufficiently to seek out the offending "things".
After pulling out all the extra fabric around the edges of my bed, wiping my now perspiring brow, and locating a tiny zipper pull, I did it. I must admit, I was nervous. I unzipped what I now remembered was a king sized mattress cover on my queen sized bed. It was the only anti bedbug one available, and I purchased it during a time when we could still go travelling without pandemic fears.
I zipped, I zipped, thinking two sides open would be sufficient. Once my head and most of my body was inside the cover, and my bare, but slippered legs were flailing in the air, hubby arrived to inquire as to what on earth I was doing. "Are you washing the mattress cover?" he asked.
My mission was not hindered, as my muffled voice shared with him the issue of the mystery protrusions. Hubby is used to me by now, well, sort of, so he just carried on with what he was doing allowing my imprisoned self to seek out the offending bumps.
The only thing I learned during my spelunking betwixt the formerly unsullied mattress and the massive protective wrapper was that there was clearly something invasive between the layers of fabric. After a few minutes of thinking, and wondering whether I should slit part of the seam to determine what it was, I came to the most logical and sensible conclusion.
The mattress cover was padded, and the mattress cover was king sized. Clearly some of the excess padding had wadded itself up to create the illusion of something more compelling. Yes, that's it and that's what I'll believe until the next time I change the sheets.
I re-zipped and smoothed the cover as best I could, put clean sheets on the bed in a slimming dark purple colour, so that the lumps are less apparent, and went about my business. Now, I'll see how I sleep tonight, and what happens next week when I once again change the bedding.
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***Seinfeld's hilarious bit about missing socks
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UmQxyOROXtA
***See Blog - The Princess, The Pea, and Prince Charming 8/4/10
https://rockinrobinsramblings.blogspot.com/2010/08/princess-pea-and-prince-charming.html
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